Lord Send Me

…On Being Chosen and Sent Forth

As a young girl, competitive athletic teams and outdoor events were not my forte. The last or next to last chosen, I waited to hear my name called and then silently prayed that I wouldn’t prove to be a disappointment to whatever team I was put on. That is not to say that I did not recognize that I had abilities, I was just quite aware that my talents lay elsewhere. With a love of singing and dance I had found a home in performing. Yet, with a love of learning, serving and leadership I found other opportunities that called forth the truly unique gifts that I could offer. Imbued within my very soul, I had been chosen, not because of these gifts but to use these gifts.

I have been thinking of this story lately, the closer we move as a Church to celebrating the feast of Pentecost. Jesus who had been with the disciples, impressing upon them that he was alive and present, encouraging each of their gifts, now visibly departed. How would they continue the work begun by Christ with him no longer there to guide? Promised that they would not be left alone, that the Holy Spirit, the Advocate and comforter was to be with them they were being asked to trust and wait.

These last few months have been both exciting and event filled-from the completion of my final integration paper, speaking engagements, meetings on prospective projects and positions, and commencement.  With each of these there has been the need to carve out quiet time to pray, refill and discern where God is leading me to go next. Not wanting to choose unwisely, and thereby make a mistake, this “reformed” perfectionist has been praying in earnest for clarity. Do you see the irony too? Apparently, I am not as reformed as I had thought in fully letting go and trusting the Spirit to lead, though I know the only way forward is by doing just that.

Seeking a path to serve but uncertain precisely of the details or mission, I find that I too am waiting. Surely this is what the disciples felt in the time preceding Pentecost, and even after.

“Lord, please send me. Open my ears and heart to hear your voice, and fill me with the inner peace to tend to those things placed before me today with love, grace and joy. There is much consolation in knowing that you see our inmost being, and though sinners, we too have been chosen and are loved.”

As we look at the horizon, towards each new day, and those impending moments when we are called forth to put these feet in action, let us pray…

“Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful.
And kindle in them the fire of your love.
Send forth your Spirit
and they shall be created.
And you will renew the face of the earth.

(For thankfully, you are not finished with us yet…)

May this living flame ignite within you today,